With every new year, people set their goals for what they’d like to accomplish, change and grow upon. What is your new year’s resolution? What do you want to change and see next year that you didn’t see this year? For me, it’s seeing my feet when I get naked again. I missed my FIRST #BitchyTuesdays blog post last week since I started and I hope you will forgive me. In my defense, it was my 21st birthday and I fell asleep in the bathroom of a club due to jetlag from getting off a plane from California at 7am and also from having 6 margaritas. You know who came to save me? The bouncer saying “Pack your shit up and go home… Happy Birthday!” Move over, Lindsay Lohan, there’s a new bitch in town. Will 2014 be the year you’ve been waiting for? Will you finally find the man of your dreams? Will you wet the bed? Will you get a raise? Will you start to lose your hair? Will Adam Levine sext you back? I personally cannot wait for the ball to drop tonight so I can make out with myself for as long as possible as a salute to another year of being single and fabulous. This year has been a little crazy for me and I found out a lot about who I am this year: A fucking mess.
Reflecting on this year in total, there has been some really stand out interesting and crazy moments because I’m interesting and crazy doing just about anything. 2013 has been filled with laughs, tears and a shit ton of Taco Bell. From the late nights, bright lights, performing stand up comedy on stages around New York City to sitting in a college classroom the next day just TRYING to hold my head up and eyes open like Paula Abdul on the American Idol panel, this year has been one to remember. Or try to remember. Who can forget when Amanda Bynes blocked me on Twitter? Or how about when I made my television debut on The Wendy Williams Show looking more like Ellen Degeneres than usual? Or when Big Sean came to my house to see my little brother and I was kept locked away in the attic like Anne Franke because my brother was afraid I was going to embarrass him? I’m sure Big Sean would have loved my vest covered in bedazzled spikes. The nerve. It doesn’t matter if your year was good or bad- it matters if you’re moving forward and becoming a better person. New Years isn’t about how many bottles of champagne you chugged or how tall the ladder Ryan Seacrest stands on in Times Square to get onto eye level with the camera. 2014 is about growth and I’re not just referring to Justin Bieber’s body.
Make 2014 your year like Miley Cyrus made 2013 her year…. Just don’t get contract an STD because they make you sad, less attractive and itchy. Some people may argue that 2014 is just tomorrow and nothing changes. I also believe that those are the same people who think it’s okay to wear leggings as pants in a public forum. Who do you trust? Exactly. *Waves like Princess Diana* 2014 should be about creating a better you. A you that’s radiant, confident and camel-toe free. Do what makes you happy and surround yourself with people that make you happy because you deserve nothing less. Fight for the person you want to become this year and make me proud, I am rooting for you and I hope all your dreams come true this year. See you next year and PLEASE be careful tonight!!!!
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